Frequently Asked Questions

Do you have questions about sex addiction? Are you wondering about sexual addiction treatment and what solutions are available to you? Below are some of the frequently asked questions that we hear at Heart to Heart Counseling Center related to sex addiction. If you read through these and still have questions about your situation, please call us at 719-278-3708 or send us an email at info@sexaddict.com.

Check out the FAQ questions below for more information.

Is there recovery from sex addiction?

Yes, there is recovery for sex addiction. This recovery takes time and hard work especially in the first year, but with guided help, the sex addict can experience restoration in their emotional, relational, sexual, financial and even spiritual lives.

I have seen marriages made better than they ever were and addicts live much happier lives than they ever thought possible. I have been in successful recovery for over twenty years and know help is available for those who choose to work for and maintain recovery. If you would like a more information on counseling, please call (719) 278-3708 or visit our Intensives page for breakdowns of our sex addiction help program.

Is there a cure for sex addiction?

Like any addiction, sex addiction can be overcome. There is no pill or easy way to stop the addiction. It takes work much like recovering from alcoholism or a drug addiction. The first year is the hardest, and then you can enter a maintenance plan as you stay on your path of freedom.

Why am I addicted to sex?

Many people ask why they are addicted to sex and how did they become a sex addict. This question comes up when they realize that sex has more control over their lives than it should have. It is important to understand the why and how before you try fighting a sex addiction. The first step is understanding what type of sex addict you are. Check out the Six Types of Sex Addicts to learn more.

What's the difference between sex addiction and high sex drive?

I have been asked this question on almost every national talk show or radio show I have been on for over 20 years. A person with a high sex drive is satisfied with sex. It’s not about a fix for something. When their partner says “NO” it doesn’t make them go off the handle feeling as if their partner is totally rejecting them and that they have to leave the house or act out in some way. If you can relate to the latter, chances are there may be an addiction issue. You can learn about the other addiction warnings signs with our Is My Spouse A Sex Addict? Test.

Can you be addicted to sex?

Yes, you can become addicted to anything that is taken out of its primary role in life. Sex is no different. For example, you can become addicted to sex when you begin to focus on the sexual acts, feelings, and situations rather than relationships.

What are sex addicts called?

Have you ever wondered what sex addicts are called? Different names have been used to describe people who medicate their lives with sex over the years, but their situations and triggers are usually the same. It is important to clarify and identify sexual addiction.

Can partners get help even if the sex addict doesn't?

Yes. Even if the addict stays in denial of their sexual addiction, their partner can receive help and support for herself. The feelings of anger, loss, loneliness and many other feelings encountered over the years of living with this addiction will affect a person negatively. These feelings need to be dealt with therapeutically whether they stay married to the addict or not.

As a partner or wife, the addiction is in no way something of your doing; the addiction usually started many years before you even met your addict. This addiction would have grown and damaged anyone they would have related to, in any relationship. You can learn more about how this affects you with out Partners' Resources.

If you would like a more information on a counseling appointment, call (719) 278-3708.

How to be in a relationship with a sex addict.

Being in a relationship with a sex addict is hard. Sex addicts choose to stay immature and see people as objects. You need to understand this if you discover sex addiction in your relationship and take steps to take care of yourself. Getting help for both of you is important and will help you process the situation and your decisions.

How to get help as the spouse of a sex addict.

Getting help is a priority as the spouse or partner of a sex addict. You need to take care of yourself, heal from the pain, and position yourself in a place you can move forward from. If you are dealing with sex addiction, don't let it define your life. Get help now and visit our Partner's Resources.

What role does pornography play in sex addiction?

For many sex addicts, pornography combined with regular masturbation is the cornerstone. Many sex addicts have great difficulty getting sober from this combination of behaviors. The pornography with accompanying fantasy creates an unreal world that the sex addict visits throughout their adolescence and other developmental stages and creates an object relationship that conditions their emotional and sexual self to depend upon these objects and fantasies to meet their emotional and sexual needs hundreds of times before having sex with a real person. You can learn more about the sex addict warning signs with our Am I A Sex Addict? Test.

Am I addicted to porn?

You already know if you are addicted to porn or not. Porn is one of those things that can control your life if you let it. It can be one of those things you look forward to, you spend time thinking about, and you feel ashamed about after looking at it. If this sounds like you and you would like help, check out our Ban Porn From Your Life blog post.

How do I know if I am a sex addict?

Do you know if you are a sex addict? If you are addicted to sex, you already know you are an addict. You already know if the sexual behaviors you are doing are excessive, if sex consumes you so much that it blocks out everything else, and if you are powerless to stop doing it.

Can you be addicted to masterbation?

Yes. This is by far the most common sex addiction that I have treated in working with sex addiction. This usually is the first sexual behavior many will have on a repeated basis. This is usually how the sexual compulsion starts and this behavior, regardless of other acquired behaviors, usually stays active. This behavior usually starts early in adolescence while the brain is still developing.

Can sex addicts be faithful?

Faithfulness is a factor you have to consider when dealing with sex addiction. Many sex addicts actually are faithful to the partners in a sense that they are not engaging in other physical relationships. Instead, they are using things like fantasy, pornography, and masturbation to fuel their addiction.

How do you stop being a sex addict?

If you are a sex addict, stopping the sex addiction will probably be one of the hardest things you have ever done. Many people stop their behaviors for short periods of time and relapse afterwards. Whether it is a week, a month, or a year, the addiction always seems to come back, but there are ways you can get help. Check out our treatment plans and help options to get started.

Is there any other way to help our children not become sexually addicted?

Yes! Even though many of our adult male clients report that their fathers were sex addicts (porn, affairs, prostitutes etc.), they also report getting little to no proper sexual information to balance their sexual perspective. We have created two DVDs addressing healthy sexuality for teens. Born for War teaches young men practical tools to defeat the sexual landmines their generation faces and offers scriptural truths to empower them to desire success in the war that is thrust upon them. Princes Take Longer Than Frogs helps single women ages 15-30 successfully navigate through the season of dating and how to distinguish between a Prince and a Frog. You can find these DVDs in our store.

How can I tell if someone is addicted to sex?

It is hard to tell if someone is addicted to sex or has a problem with sex addiction. This type of addiction is pretty hard to see just looking at someone. It can be hidden deep within their behavior and lifestyle. watch the video as Dr. Doug Weiss talks about how to ask the right questions.

Signs of sex addiction in men.

Sex addiction typically begins in men's lives at an early age. During their adolescent years, many of these men engage in viewing pornography and masturbating frequently. This builds mental ties to the object world and establishes the neurological connections for sex addiction later in life. Watch the video for more signs of sex addiction in men.

Can women be sex addicts?

Yes! The number of women desiring treatment is growing significantly. The behaviors are the same as their male counterparts, including masturbation, pornography, internet activity, anonymous encounters and affairs. Over twenty recovering female sex addicts contributed in writing She Has a Secret: Understanding Female Sexual Addiction. This book plus the Secret Solutions Workbook, with over 115 helpful techniques for recovery is just for her. There is hope for female sex addicts for recovery.

Signs of sex addiction in women.

When it comes to the signs and symptoms of sex addiction in women, there are specific things that come to light. Female sex addicts usually have abusive backgrounds and use a specific set of characteristics to fuel their addiction. Watch the video to learn more.

How do I help a sex addict?

You want to know how you can help when your partner, spouse, or loved one falls prey to sex addiction. The best way to help a sex addict is to get them to help themselves. You can't make them change or change something in your circumstance or surroundings to make things right. Help them by getting them into a Freedom Group or a sex addict anonymous group or by helping them find a counselor.

What is it like to live with a sex addict from a partner's perspective?

Partners or wives living with a sex addict typically report common feelings such as aloneness or the sense that the partner can’t open up and talk about his “real” self. The confusion comes as a result of doing certain behaviors that are still not enough to satisfy them and hopelessness that there isn’t enough. Anger from many unmet needs are often common. Many of these issues are addressed in our books and DVDs. You can find specific resources to help your situation in our store.

Are they addicted to me sexually?

You might ask if someone is addicted to you sexually if all they seem to think about is sex. Sex is a natural part of intimate relationships, but being sexually addicted to someone can be detrimental. It is important to accept and want to be with your partner because of who they are not how sexual they or just because of their sexuality.

Crazy things sex addicts say.

People say some crazy things to justify their sex addictions. They include saying things like I can stop by myself, everyone does it, if I only had more sex, looking at porn doesn't actually hurt anyone, it's just who I am, and other things. What are some crazy things you have heard them say? Watch the video to learn more.

Learn more about how you can get help.