Frequently Asked Questions

Do you have questions about sex addiction? Are you wondering about sexual addiction treatment and what solutions are available to you? Below are some of the frequently asked questions that we hear at Heart to Heart Counseling Center related to sex addiction. If you read through these and still have questions about your situation, please call us at 719-278-3708 or send us an email at info@sexaddict.com.

Check out the FAQ questions below for more information.

Is there recovery from sex addiction?

Yes, there is recovery for sex addiction. This recovery takes time and hard work especially in the first year, but with guided help, the sex addict can experience restoration in their emotional, relational, sexual, financial and even spiritual lives.

I have seen marriages made better than they ever were and addicts live much happier lives than they ever thought possible. I have been in successful recovery for over twenty years and know help is available for those who choose to work for and maintain recovery. If you would like a more information on counseling, please call (719) 278-3708 or visit our Intensives page for breakdowns of our sex addiction help program.

What's the difference between sex addiction and high sex drive?

I have been asked this question on almost every national talk show or radio show I have been on for over 20 years. A person with a high sex drive is satisfied with sex. It’s not about a fix for something. When their partner says “NO” it doesn’t make them go off the handle feeling as if their partner is totally rejecting them and that they have to leave the house or act out in some way. If you can relate to the latter, chances are there may be an addiction issue. You can learn about the other addiction warnings signs with our Is My Spouse A Sex Addict? Test.

Can partners get help even if the sex addict doesn't?

Yes. Even if the addict stays in denial of their sexual addiction, their partner can receive help and support for herself. The feelings of anger, loss, loneliness and many other feelings encountered over the years of living with this addiction will affect a person negatively. These feelings need to be dealt with therapeutically whether they stay married to the addict or not.

As a partner or wife, the addiction is in no way something of your doing; the addiction usually started many years before you even met your addict. This addiction would have grown and damaged anyone they would have related to, in any relationship. You can learn more about how this affects you with out Partners' Resources.

If you would like a more information on a counseling appointment, call (719) 278-3708.

What role does pornography play in sex addiction?

For many sex addicts, pornography combined with regular masturbation is the cornerstone. Many sex addicts have great difficulty getting sober from this combination of behaviors. The pornography with accompanying fantasy creates an unreal world that the sex addict visits throughout their adolescence and other developmental stages and creates an object relationship that conditions their emotional and sexual self to depend upon these objects and fantasies to meet their emotional and sexual needs hundreds of times before having sex with a real person. You can learn more about the sex addict warning signs with our Am I A Sex Addict? Test.

Can you be addicted to masterbation?

Yes. This is by far the most common sex addiction that I have treated in working with sex addiction. This usually is the first sexual behavior many will have on a repeated basis. This is usually how the sexual compulsion starts and this behavior, regardless of other acquired behaviors, usually stays active. This behavior usually starts early in adolescence while the brain is still developing.

Is there any other way to help our children not become sexually addicted?

Yes! Even though many of our adult male clients report that their fathers were sex addicts (porn, affairs, prostitutes etc.), they also report getting little to no proper sexual information to balance their sexual perspective. We have created two DVDs addressing healthy sexuality for teens. Born for War teaches young men practical tools to defeat the sexual landmines their generation faces and offers scriptural truths to empower them to desire success in the war that is thrust upon them. Princes Take Longer Than Frogs helps single women ages 15-30 successfully navigate through the season of dating and how to distinguish between a Prince and a Frog. You can find these DVDs in our store.

Can women be sex addicts?

Yes! The number of women desiring treatment is growing significantly. The behaviors are the same as their male counterparts, including masturbation, pornography, internet activity, anonymous encounters and affairs. Over twenty recovering female sex addicts contributed in writing She Has a Secret: Understanding Female Sexual Addiction. This book plus the Secret Solutions Workbook, with over 115 helpful techniques for recovery is just for her. There is hope for female sex addicts for recovery.

What is it like to live with a sex addict from a partner's perspective?

Partners or wives living with a sex addict typically report common feelings such as aloneness or the sense that the partner can’t open up and talk about his “real” self. The confusion comes as a result of doing certain behaviors that are still not enough to satisfy them and hopelessness that there isn’t enough. Anger from many unmet needs are often common. Many of these issues are addressed in our books and DVDs. You can find specific resources to help your situation in our store.

Learn more about how you can get help.