In earlier research we determined 29% fit into the category of intimacy anorexia as well. This subject is covered in great detail in the Intimacy Anorexia DVD and book.
To be brief, I will list the characteristics of intimacy anorexia. Answer these the way your spouse or partner would answer them about you. If you believe that five or more criteria apply to you, then you are probably an intimacy anorexic.
- Withhold love
- Withhold praise or appreciation
- Control by silence/anger
- Criticism causing isolation
- Withholding sex
- Blaming partner for everything
- Staying very busy to avoid partner time
- Control/Shame with money issues
- Unable to share feelings
- Withholding spiritual connection
Many addicts who have been trying to get sober but keep having what I call “flat tire” recovery (relapsing regularly) often are identified as intimacy anorexics. If you have been sober from acting out behaviors for a year but your wife wants to leave you now because “nothing’s changed” you might also be a sexual/emotional anorexic.