Sex Addiction Help

This Page will contain information regarding:

  1. Definition of Sex Addiction
  2. Resources of Sex Addiction
  3. Free Resources for Sex Addiction
  4. Definition of 6 Types of Sex Addiction
  5. Assessment Test for Sex Addiction
  6. Assessment Test for Spouse’s Sex Addiction
  7. Impact Sex Addiction has on Spouse’s
  8. 3 and 5 Day Intensives for Sex Addiction
  9. Sex addiction Behaviors
  10. Sex addiction affects on spouses

Sex Addiction Behaviors: Your sex addiction might have a variety of behaviors. You can have a :

  • Sex Addiction to Masturbation
  • Sex Addiction to Pornography of any type
  • Sex Addiction to Prostitutes
  • Sex Addiction to strip Clubs / Massage Parlors
  • Sex addiction involving any gender
  • Sex Addiction involving multiple or ongoing affairs
  • Sex Addiction involving objects or fetish materials
  • Sex Addiction to lust or fantasy

Regardless of the behavior or multiple behaviors in your sex addiction there is hope.

Call today for resources or to set up a 3 or 5 day Intensive 719 278 3708.


Sex Addiction is impacting millions of individuals, marriages and families around the globe. You or someone you love can recover from Sex Addiction – There is hope.

Sex Addiction is the active using of a sexual behavior, whether it is masturbation, porn, fetishes and behavior with self or others in a compulsive life-destroying pattern. The impact is felt in the life of the addict and his or her surrounding family members and friends.

For more information about the harmful effects of Sex Addiction, here are some resources about Sex Addiction.

6 TYPES OF SEXUAL ADDICTS

According to the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy, there are six types of sex addiction:

Biological Sex Addiction-

The biological sex addict is someone whose excessive masturbation and pornography viewing has highjacked the sexual response to attach to images and fantasy. This person may have challenges with relational sex. Although most people with sex addiction have the biological type as one component of their sex addiction, only about 15 percent (in Dr. Weiss’s experience) are solely biologically based sex addicts.

Psychological Sex Addiction-

Research related to sex addiction reveals that most sex addicts have suffered some form of past abuse or neglect. This person finds the combination of the messages in the fantasy world and the sexual chemical cocktail to the brain to be a salve for their hurting soul. Simply put, they medicate the past pain in their souls with sexual acting out which is their form of medicine.

In our clinical experience, 80 percent or more of those who struggle with sex addiction have abandonment, abuse or neglect issues of some type in their past. These painful events will ultimately need to be addressed for the sex addict to fully heal.

Spiritual Sex Addiction-

The person with this type of sex addiction is looking for a spiritual connection in all the wrong places. In recovery we talk about our spiritual hole. This person tries sex for this spiritual void and finds it doesn’t scratch the itch over time.

Trauma Based Sex Addiction-

The person with the trauma based sex addiction has experienced sexual trauma(s) as a child or adolescent. This trauma becomes the major repetitive behavior in their sexual addiction.

For the trauma based sex addict the trauma determines the flavor of the sexual addiction. Here trauma work will need to be address for the addict to heal.

Intimacy Anorexic Sex Addiction-

In earlier research we determined 29% of sexual addicts fit into the category of intimacy anorexia as well. This subject is covered in great detail in the Intimacy Anorexia DVD and book.

To be brief, I will list the characteristics of intimacy anorexia. Answer these the way your spouse or partner would answer them about you. If you believe that five or more criteria apply to you, then you are probably an intimacy anorexic.

  1. Withhold love
  2. Withhold praise or appreciation
  3. Control by silence/anger
  4. Criticism causing isolation
  5. Withholding sex
  6. Blaming partner for everything
  7. Staying very busy to avoid partner time
  8. Control/Shame with money issues
  9. Unable to share feelings
  10. Withholding spiritual connection

Many addicts who have been trying to get sober but keep having what I call “flat tire” recovery (relapsing regularly) often are identified as intimacy anorexics. If you have been sober from sexual addictive acting out behaviors for a year but your wife wants to leave you now because “nothing’s changed” you might also be a sexual/emotional anorexic.

Mood Disorder Sex Addiction-

People with this type of sex addiction have chemical imbalances in adolescence or young adulthood.  This young person finds the sexual release as a way to medicate or alter their present chemical imbalance. They then use this sexual response regularly and over time unexpectedly create a sexual addiction. In a journal article Dr. Weiss wrote called The Prevalence of Depression in Male Sex Addicts Residing in the United States, Weiss discovered that 28 % of male sex addicts suffered from depression.

Do you have a sex addiction?

  1. Do you have secret sexual behaviors with yourself, pornography or others?
  2. Are you unable to be honest about your sexual behavior?
  3. Have you tried to stop this behavior and failed?
  4. Have you continued your sexual behavior even though you have had consequences?
  5. Have you caused pain in your relationships due to your sexual behavior?
  6. Do you know you need to stop a sexual behavior in order to be healthy?
  7. Have you had consequences financially, relationally or socially due to your sexual behavior?
  8. Do you have a core belief that if you really knew me, you wouldn’t love me?
  9. Do you have difficulty not lusting or objectifying people?
  10. Do you use secret emails, web subscriptions or prostitute services?

If you answer yes to several of these questions call our office at 719.278.3708 for an appointment to start recovery from your sex addiction today!

Take our 6 Types of a Sex Addict Test Designed for those recovering from sex addiction.

Does Your Spouse have a Sex Addiction?

  1. Does your spouse have unaccountable time?
  2. Does your spouse have unaccountable money?
  3. Does your spouse have unexplainable moods?
  4. Does your spouse’s mood depend on whether he/she gets sex or not?
  5. Does your spouse have a lack of sexual activity with you?
  6. Does your spouse have a history of emotional, physical or sexual abuse or neglect?
  7. Does your spouse have a supply of pornography (especially the kind you get at adult bookstores)?
  8. Are there many arguments over sex?
  9. Is your spouse unable to be emotionally intimate?
  10. Does sex appear to not satisfy him/her (wants more right away or there never seems to be enough)?
  11. Is there a lot of anger or erratic behavior when he/she is said “no” to sexually?
  12. Do you feel alone during your sexual encounters?
  13. Do you feel used, dirty or abandoned after sexual encounters?
  14. Is there a sense that he’s/she’s got his fix and now he’s better?
  15. Have they made promises to quit a behavior and failed?
  16. Do they have what looks like a double life?
If you answer yes to several of these questions call our office at 719.278.3708 for an appointment to start your journey from the effects of your spouse’s sex addiction.
Sex Addiction Resources Available

Sex addiction recovery is possible. Douglas Weiss, Ph.D. has been successfully counseling sex addicts and their spouses for almost thirty years. He was the first in the world to treat Sex Addiction with 3 and 5-day intensives at Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

During these 3 or 5 Day Intensives, sex addicts (and their spouses if applicable) receive 9 to 15 specialized exclusive therapy sessions. This can include marriage and individual sessions, attending informative educational therapy groups, 12 step work groups, as well as watching educational DVDs pertaining directly to their circumstances.

Couples are helped through the critical phases of disclosure, moving into the process of recovery and rebuilding trust, healing and grief for the partner of the sex addict and marital recovery from the sex addiction.

Dr. Weiss has guided many couples as they rebuild their relationship and grasp and implement the necessary skills for an intimate relationship.

Learn more about Sex Addiction Intensives and other helpful resources to help you begin your recovery today.

Top blogs by Dr. Doug Weiss on Sex Addiction

Sexual Addiction impacts the spouse of a sex addict in several areas:

  • Sexual Addiction lowers the spouse’s self-esteem
  • Sexual Addiction impacts the spouse’s weight 
  • Sexual Addiction can create depression for the spouse
  • Sexual Addiction can impact the spouse’s sexuality
  • Sex Addiction can impact the trust level of the spouse

Sex Addiction has many impacts on the spouse.  For more statistics, stories and a roadmap for spouse recovery, read “Partners: Healing From His Addiction” or  schedule a 3 or 5 Day Intensive to heal from the impacts of sex addiction. This is helpful regardless of whether you are still married to the sex addict. Sources: Partners: Healing From His Addiction

 

Recovery from Sex Addiction

is possible!


These are questions commonly asked about sex addiction and what can be done to help the sex addict.
Is there recovery from sex addiction?
Yes, there is recovery for sex addiction. This recovery takes time and hard work especially in the first year, but with guided help, the sex addict can experience restoration in their emotional, relational, sexual, financial and even spiritual lives. I have seen marriages made better than they ever were and addicts live much happier lives than they ever thought possible. I have been in successful recovery for over twenty years and know help is available for those who choose to work for and maintain recovery. If you would like a more information on counseling , please call (719) 278-3708. Check out my YouTube Video for more information on Help for the Sex Addict.
COMMON QUESTIONS
What’s the difference between sex addiction and high sex drive?
I have been asked this question on almost every national talk show or radio show I have been on for over 20 years. A person with a high sex drive is satisfied with sex. It’s not about a fix for something; when their partner says “NO” it doesn’t make them go off the handle feeling as if their partner is totally rejecting them and that they have to leave the house or act out in some way. If you can relate to the latter, chances are there may be an addiction issue.
Have A Question?
Have A Question? Email us at info@sexaddict.com
Can partners get help even if the sex addict doesn’t?
Yes. Even if the addict stays in denial of their addiction, the partner can receive help and support for herself. The feelings of anger, loss, loneliness and many other feelings encountered over the years of living with this addiction will affect a person. These feelings need to be dealt with therapeutically whether they stay married to the addict or not. If you would like a more information on a counseling appointment, call (719) 278-3708. As a partner or wife, the addiction is in no way something of your doing; the addiction started many years before you even met your addict. This addiction would have grown and damaged anyone they would have related to, in any relationship. You can subscribe to our Partners Newsletter by visiting our Newsletter Page.
Can you be addicted to masturbation?
Yes. This is by far the most common sex addiction that I have treated in working with sex addiction. This usually is the first sexual behavior many will have on a repeated basis. This is usually how the sexual compulsion starts and this behavior, regardless of other acquired behaviors, usually stays active. This behavior usually starts early in adolescence while the brain is still developing.
What role does pornography play in sex addiction?
For many sex addicts, pornography combined with regular masturbation is the cornerstone. Many sex addicts have great difficulty getting sober from this combination of behaviors. The pornography with accompanying fantasy creates an unreal world that the sex addict visits throughout their adolescence and other developmental stages and creates an object relationship that conditions their emotional and sexual self to depend upon these objects and fantasies to meet their emotional and sexual needs hundreds of times before having sex with a real person.
THE FINAL FREEDOM
A roadmap to help you begin and navigate an incredible journey towards freedom.
Is there any other way to help our children not become sexually addicted?
Yes! Even though many of our adult male clients report that their fathers were sex addicts (porn, affairs, prostitutes etc.), they also report getting little to no proper sexual information to balance their sexual perspective. We have created two DVDs addressing healthy sexuality for teens. Born for War teaches young men practical tools to defeat the sexual landmines their generation faces and offers scriptural truths to empower them to desire success in the war that is thrust upon them. Princes Take Longer Than Frogs helps single women ages 15-30 successfully navigate through the season of dating and how to distinguish between a Prince and a Frog.
Can someone be a sex addict and not be sexual (or intimate) with their spouse or committed relationship?
Can women be sex addicts?
Yes! The number of women desiring treatment is growing significantly. The behaviors are the same as their male counterparts, including masturbation, pornography, internet activity, anonymous encounters, and affairs. Over twenty recovering female sex addicts contributed in writing She Has a Secret: Understanding Female Sexual Addiction. This book plus the Secret Solutions Workbook, with over 115 helpful techniques for recovery is just for her. If you would like to set up a counseling appointment to start your journey of recovery, call today. There is hope for female sex addicts for recovery.
What is it like to live with a sex addict from a partner’s perspective?
Partners or wives living with a sex addict typically report common feelings, such as aloneness, or the sense that the partner can’t open up and talk about his “real” self. The confusion comes as a result of doing certain behaviors that are still not enough and hopelessness that there isn’t enough. Anger from many unmet needs, are often common. Many of these issues are addressed in our books and DVDs.
Sex Addiction Recovery Resources
Relevant resources are available for sex addiction, partners, intimacy anorexia, marriage, and purity. Books, DVDs, CDs, and website resources by Douglas Weiss, Ph.D. are used by treatment centers, recovery groups, and clinics nationwide.

101freedomexercises

This is the best single resource for those who desires to know what they need to do to get and stay free from sex addiction. This book contains 101 exercises that have been proven to work. In this book, you receive the best techniques that have helped thousands already obtain freedom from sex addiction. Click to purchase

partners

This book is the latest in research of the effects on a woman who has lived with a sexual addict. The riveting statistics combined with personal stories of recovery make this a have-to-read book for any woman in a relationship with a sex addict. You are also offered hope and a beginning plan for personal recovery. Click to purchase

Steps to Freedom

This is a Christian approach to the Twelve Steps. This book will guide you through the 12 Steps of recovery that have been helpful for many addicted people. This book is specifically written for the person desiring recovery from sex addiction. Click to purchase

shehasasecret

Twenty-four recovering female sex addicts share their stories of addiction, consequences and their recovery. This book is the most current book in the field of sex addiction for women and is packed with new statistics to further our understanding of female sexual addiction. This is a must read for any woman struggling in this addiction as well as for professionals in this field. Click to purchase

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This newsletter from Heart to Heart Counseling Center offers information for those struggling with sex addiction, partners as well as marriage tips.

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Partner Tips Newsletter

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